With Democrats having recently taken control over the House of Representatives, it seems inevitable that the “blue wave” will continue into the next few elections as progressive millennials get hyped up and old conservatives keep dying. With a blue wave, undoubtedly, comes a socialist tsunami.

More and more Democratic voters want a socialist government, as according to an article from USA Today, citing a poll conducted by Gallup, that showed that more than 60% of Democrats have a positive view of socialism. So, what happens if socialist programs are implemented?

Most certainly, Medicare-for-all will be one of the first things on the table. While there’s been a big deal about how socialized medicine will cost less, one thing has gone unnoticed; American tax rates will hike up. As with any socialist dictatorship, since the government will be providing, tax rates will eat up American income.

But what does that look like for you?

Independent Senator from Vermont Bernie Sanders has introduced his master plan to implement five new taxes when Medicare-for-all is put in place. Here’s what they are and what they mean for American citizens like you.

Fish Tax

According to NOAA, the average American consumes 15.5 lbs. of fish every year. When we interviewed Sen. Sanders, he stated, “I love to eat fish. Mackerel, tuna, salmon, trout, you name it. It helps my memory because I’m old. So yeah, we should tax it. Just like that.”

When we tried to press Sanders further, however, he did not want to reveal how much revenue the government would make. We talked to the Fraser Institute, and an anonymous representative stated that Sanders “has good reason” to not want to tell us.

“In Canada, we’ve seen less incentive to buy fish of all sorts, mainly because there’s an extra 56% tax rate. We can’t enjoy our lovely Pacific Salmon anymore thanks to our single-payer healthcare system. Thanks a lot, Justin,” the incognito correspondent stated. “I’m too afraid to speak out in public because the Socialists will find me. Please, PLEASE do something to help us.”

The reporter has gone missing since this interview.

Life Tax

The prospect of living just got worse. Sen. Sanders told us, “How do we combat overpopulation and fund single-payer at the same time? It’s simple: Life Tax.”

That’s correct. If you were born in, currently reside in, or visit the United States, you would be subject to a life tax that has been proposed by the Socialists in the House. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, the youngest woman to be elected to the position of Representative for her Brooklyn district of New York, states that this new idea kills FOUR stones with one bird.

“Not only do we combat overpopulation and fund single-payer, but we would most likely see less birth and less will to live. This brings two more positive impacts; helping millennials who bond over their desire to die and combatting climate change. Look at the USSR; when more burdens (in our instance, taxes) were placed upon their people, there was more death and their carbon emissions plunged: we can do the same,” Ocasio says. “Another benefit, in my opinion, is that the Motherland can live on in all our hearts this way.”

Breath Tax

Do you like to breathe? Bernie Sanders doesn’t.

“It takes too much energy to breathe, especially for me,” says Sanders. “Might as well tax breath. Oh yeah, and fight climate change at the same time.”

When asked how the government would be able to monitor breath, Sanders simply stated, “We’ll leave that to the FBI.” When pressed further about the notion of FBI agents, Sanders refused to respond and said he simply had “a slip of the tongue.”

Sanders also made clear the difference between a carbon tax and a breath tax. “Your breath can smell bad too, along with carbon; we don’t want that in our atmosphere, now do we?”

Vegan Tax

Rashida Tlaib, another newly-elected congresswoman, is an avid supporter of Sander’s proposition for a vegan tax. “We want to ensure a healthy diet for all Americans. Through this new tax, we can also support the agricultural industry. By de-incentivizing veganism (a terrible cult, I must say), we allow for both economic growth and the salvation of the poor souls who have fallen prey to these radical beliefs.”

This idea has faced a backlash from many vegans across the country. However, Tlaib and Sanders are trying to encourage people to be more “open-minded,” citing the food pyramid recommended by the FDA.

Asian Tax

According to Twitter, for every dollar a white man makes, on average, an Asian man makes $1.14. Thus, the Socialists are all in favor of taxing Asians.

The basic Democratic concepts are clear: tax the rich. In return, there comes higher government revenue. However, the Socialists take it a step further. Equity is a key concept of any Socialist authoritarian regime, rather than just equality. In this sense, an Asian tax is appealing for many Socialists in order to fund Medicare-for-all.

However, many Asian Socialists/Communists are split over such a concept. The most common conflict of interest was revealed in a poll conducted by the Neo-Communist Institute for Race Studies, showing that 48% of Asian-Americans love the idea but are hesitant for the tax to be coming out of their wallets.

What This Means for You

There is every reason to be alarmed. Under Lord Trump’s tax cuts, the economy has prospered (despite the stock market crash); this would simply be hindered in the future under a Socialist regime, no matter how well-funded Medicare-for-all would be.

The only taxes to not worry about are the Asian and Vegan taxes, however, since only those deserving of some good taxation will receive it.

Otherwise, the plea is simple: in order to save America, bring on a Red Riptide to fight back the Socialist Tsunami. Here at Speak the Truth, we encourage voting, so go to usa.gov to learn how to register so that America may stay a safer place.